An Account of God's Faithfulness

This is my attempt to "prime the pump," to begin an outpouring of God's people sharing of His faithfulness.  Won't you be a part of it?  This is an account of one time God showed Himself faithful to our family - one of many. Please read it, then - if you, too, have found God to be faithful - please use the comment box, or my FB wall, to share a specific time in your own life that He proved Himself faithful to you.  And for each of you who share, thank you so very much!

Chapter One

It was the winter of 1996. The walls of our 33 foot camper seemed to shrink daily. It was home - our only home - during the longest winter/spring of my life ... the year of the camper ... the year God proved Himself strong on our behalf, and made us acutely aware of it! Bringing us to this point, the Lord had brought us over a rough pathway of potholes and blind curves. Ten years previous, the Lord gently, but powerfully, convicted us of our need to live within the means He provided for us - without depending on bank loans and credit. We purposed in our hearts to obey, and began the long journey of climbing out of debt - first the cars and credit cards, then the seeming impossibility of a home, with only cash - on only a single income. 

Time and space will not allow the complete story of this journey, but suffice it to say that we fought the uphill battle and, to the best of our ability, had obeyed His promptings: sold our home, moved to Chattanooga determined to only buy what we could purchase without a bank loan, saw God provide the perfect house for meeting that need, saw Him provide an amazing job that paid more than Jimmie had ever made (and prospered him in that employment situation in truly miraculous ways, above and beyond all we could ask or think). But before we had saved enough to purchase land and build a home, the Lord allowed a totally unexpected trial.

Chattanooga Rehab Hospital, after being acquired by HealthSouth, fired all the upper management employees - including the hospital administrator, Jim Henson. He was devastated. We had a thousand questions and fears, but the Lord gently picked Jimmie up from the pit he found himself in, and gave him the clear direction he desperately needed, saying "This is the way; walk ye in it." It was clear: "Sell your home, purchase a camper to house your family of 8 (including our 3-month-old baby - James) as economically as possible, and begin the daunting task of building a home for your family ... on cash alone - the task I've been leading you toward for the past 10 years."  No, it wasn't Noah's ark, but it sure seemed like it!

Chapter Two 

It was the winter of 1996 … and the excitement and constant busyness of creating a home for 8 within the confines of a 33-foot camper had settled into a never-ending drudgery of endless delays, complications, hindrances, and complete stalls… leading to deep discouragement and emotional fragility. Tears were frequent and smiles hard to come by. God had provided a respite for us – a beautiful, much-needed rest from the battle – by prompting Jon and Doris Vann to offer us the use of their 3 BR/2 Bath mobile home. They were our Christmas 1995 angels, and the Lord sheltered us in that gift - to us, a virtual palace! - over that Christmas and for several weeks. We will be forever grateful for that concrete expression of love and kindness! But the time came when we opted to move back into the camper and stay on the property, in order to see more of Jimmie – who was working part-time at the hospital, spending every available minute of daylight working on clearing the land and roads, and completing the foundation. 

As wonderful as it had been, that respite seemed now a vague memory. We had seen the log walls rise, with the help of a wonderful crew of men from Tennessee – and had seen them pull out of Shepherds Rest for the last time, leaving us about as overwhelmed as could be, realizing the finishing of these empty four walls was up to us. Jimmie was like the Eveready-powered bunny; he just worked and worked and worked - determined, purposed, focused - virtually nonstop. Precious friends - too many to try to list, for fear of forgetting someone - came alongside us and gave lovingly, generously of their time and sweat! Then the inevitable happened. We ran out of money – with the house not yet habitable. 

Had we heard the Lord’s Voice wrong? Had we started a task without first counting the cost? Had we gone off on our own tangent, rather than following God’s true leading? Was there some unconfessed sin in our lives causing God to not hear us? The sky seemed to be made of tin, bouncing back our prayers to us; there were no answers to the questions. But God ….. Those are really the only words needed. But God! God was waiting … just waiting for us to get to the end of our rope, the end of what we could do for ourselves. And in the fullness of time, when He knew the timing was perfect - He moved His Hand on our behalf! He was faithful in fulfilling His Word to His children! He answered!  And GREAT was His faithfulness! 

Final Chapter

It was the winter of 1996 … a year of God showing Himself strong on our behalf! We were truly at the end of our rope – the end of what we could do for ourselves. Then one day … my precious Mama – who could not love Jimmie more if she had birthed him – spoke a confident word of encouragement to him. “God has heard and answered your prayers; help is coming.” And that was all. Was she right? Was she only trying to encourage us by being upbeat and positive? We kept waiting. 

Then one day … Jimmie walked from our little camper, up our long, hilly, dirt drive, 3/4 of a mile through thick timber – Shepherds Rest Lane – to get the daily mail. Just a routine task. But not routine on this day! Within that stack of mail was an ordinary, unassuming white envelope. Within that envelope was more money than we’d seen in a long, long time – and more than we'd EVER seen, all at once! This amazing gift – given with the desire to remain anonymous – took our breath away! We were unmistakably, acutely, instantly aware that GOD had shown Himself strong on our behalf – in a way that was truly “exceeding, abundantly above all that we ask or think” (Ephesians 3:20)!  His promises WERE true!  Every one of them!  He does, INDEED, hear and answer!  He sees and cares about the details of my life!  He is trustworthy! 

I say with Isaiah:

“Why do you say…“My way is hidden from the LORD,
And the justice due me escapes the notice of my God”?
Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth
Does not become weary or tired.
His understanding is inscrutable.
He gives strength to the weary,
And to him who lacks might He increases power.
Though youths grow weary and tired,
And vigorous young men stumble badly,
Yet those who wait for the LORD
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.”

Even after more than 17 years, my heart leaps within me at the remembrance!  As Steven Curtis Chapman says in his song, “I will proclaim it to the world. I will declare it to my heart. I will say it when the sun is shining. I will scream it in the dark! You are faithful!”

My heart strongly identifies with these words penned by the author of Lamentations:
“This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
The LORD’S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness!
‘The LORD is my portion,’ says my soul,
‘Therefore I have hope in Him’ (Lamentations 3:21-24)!”

It was the winter of 1996 … but spring had come! And we will never cease to give God praise and gratitude for that wonderful, beautiful, glorious spring! 

Won't you please share your "winter" and your "spring?"  Proclaim it to the world! Declare it to your heart! Say it when the sun is shining! Scream it in the dark! "GOD IS FAITHFUL!" 

If He has been faithful to you, please consider posting an account of it either here, or on my FB wall.  I'll share it with as many as I can, and His Family will be encouraged to trust Him more. He is faithful!

Another Good and Perfect Gift - May 2013

       

Another Good and Perfect Gift … May 2013

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of Lights, 

in Whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.” James 1:17

Have you ever noticed that when the Lord puts something together for you, it’s always better than what you could plan for yourself? Well, this first family vacation of 2013 is one of those times. I learned many years ago that in order for Jimmie to really rest and be refreshed, we need to take him away from home. 

 God has just “wired” him in such a way that it’s virtually impossible for him to forget all about the hundreds of things that need doing around the home place and just simply rest and relax … unless that myriad of tasks is miles away and out of sight. That being the case, I very faithfully (and with much enjoyment) plan two week-long getaways per year, with a few shorter ones sprinkled here and there. 

Having discovered in the last couple years that our family really enjoys water activities (such as jet skis, water-boarding, kayaks, and swimming), several months ago I began planning a late spring trip somewhere on Smith Lake. I carefully perused every rental website I could find, searching for the perfect lake house rental – that gorgeous home right on the lake, complete with sundecks overlooking the water, a beautiful, grassy lawn sloping gently down to the water, a dock for the jet skis, a beautiful view, nice and private, abounding in peace and quiet, with plenty of room for all the family – for an exceptionally good price, of course, that would fit right into our 2-kids-in-college-stressed-budget, preferably without us having to sell one of the children! 

 Several websites later, realism finally found me. After shaving several of my initial criteria and considerably shortening my wish list, I met with apparent success. Some 6 months ago, we paid the initial fees, satisfied that come May, we would be enjoying the fruits of my well-orchestrated planning efforts, in a terrific waterfront rental home.

You have heard about those best laid plans of mice and men, right? Yes… well … suffice it to say that we had a few unexpected issues to arise … budget-challenging things such as cars suddenly developing life-and-death ailments, undesired but necessary surgery, and other unforeseen family needs requiring monetary outflow - first this, then that, then the other. 

Slowly – but very surely – we saw the savings we’d set aside for vacation dwindle more and more, until it became obvious that this vacation rental no longer “fit right into our 2-kids-in-college-stressed budget.”  The shocking truth became unmistakably apparent. If we were going to pay the balance due on our wonderful vacation home, we would, indeed, need to sell one of the children!

Although perhaps momentarily tempted, reason and good sense asserted itself, and we decided against the child-selling proposition. It was with no small degree of disappointment, however, that we began entertaining the sad realization that our best laid plans had gone the way everyone’s plans occasionally go … asunder! But while we set about canceling our trip, the Lord was working out something else altogether – and we went straight from a seeming disappointment into one of God’s good and perfect surprise gifts!

At this moment, I am sitting on a lovely sundeck, adorned with beautiful blooming plants, overlooking a gently sloping lawn, charming gazebo, and alluring lake waters lapping the shore. Added to the sounds of the water are the chirping of birds and the occasional motor hums and laughter from passing boats. I’m pleasantly tired, and completely relaxed, enjoying the sights and sounds, and the pleasure of writing it all down to enjoy again in later years. It’s been a wonderful day – our second full day at the lake. 

The first day, we found our way here, launched the skis, and enjoyed getting settled in, our three sons topping the day off with a night-time kayaking exploration voyage. Yesterday, after a lazy sleep-in morning, Jimmie served me delicious fresh fruit , yummy muffins, and steaming coffee on the sundeck, followed by jaunts on the jet skis, kayaking adventures, a trip into the nearest town to stock up on groceries, and a late-evening movie together, to cap it all off. Each day has been top-notch wonderful, and yet the next has somehow been even better, with today being the absolute best of the best; it just doesn’t get any better than this! 

After a late breakfast (with sons still sleeping off their all-nighter, brother-bonding fun and games), Jimmie and I took off on the jet skis. So much fun! After at least an hour, we began to feel somewhat guilty about hogging the skis, so we headed back to the dock. Sure enough, the boys were awake and ready to get out on the water. That was perfectly fine with me, though, because I had a plan. 

There’s an island within sight of our dock, which we’d explored somewhat on the jet skis. However, we’d spotted lots of shallow water shoreline areas that would need the kayaks to fully explore and appreciate. When I suggested we take the kayaks and paddle all around the island, the response was, “Do you know how long that would take?!” My ready answer was, “What else do you have to do today? Absolutely nothing!” So I hurried into the kitchen and packed a lunch and a jug of water. In short order, the two of us were off on another kayak adventure. 

The next 3-4 hours were spent paddling across the wide expanse of water to the island, then making our way all around it. We paddled into swamp-grass areas with lots of water-oak-type trees, reminding me of areas along the coast of Florida, startling waterfowl in their secluded habitat. Finding the perfect picnic spot, we tied up the kayaks and enjoyed a break from paddling. 

I took to the water for a nice, long swim while Jimmie explored the island on foot a while. He then joined me for a short swim, but decided the water was a bit too chilly for him! The only thing we failed to bring was a blanket, but we made do by sitting on our life vests, and could easily have drifted off to sleep. Jimmie leaned against a big tree, I leaned on him, and it was so quiet and peaceful – our own deserted island - even if only for the afternoon. Rested and refreshed, we climbed aboard and headed back. 

After arriving back from our expedition, all my men-folk took off on water boards and jet skis, while I opted to relax on the deck, and write my vacation memoirs, thus far. Tonight, Hannah and Mii will join us, and there’ll be lots more memories to make. Friday night, the rest of the girls are coming – Jamie, Sarah, and Tiff – and they’ll enjoy a bit of time sharing our “good and perfect gift,” before we all head home.

This wonderful gift has been provided by the Lord, as he prompted others of His own to share with us what He has given to them. The accommodations, the setting, the entire package – has been exceedingly more than we could ever have come up with on our own. God’s vacation plan for us was truly above and beyond all that we could ask or think. And it’s all been provided for us with absolutely no strain on our 2-kids-in-college-already-stressed-out-budget!

How good God is!  

How much better His plans are than ours!
How very grateful we are!

Getting Direction from God - His way

ALTHOUGH I'VE BEEN THROUGH THE EXPERIENCING GOD (BLACKABY) STUDY BEFORE,God is wonderfully using it in my life, once again. There are at least three critical areas in life where we (different members of our family) are in critical need of God's clear direction. 

We desperately need God to show us what to do. We need to hear from God! We need Him to point us in the way we should go! Here's the truth that God is lovingly pounding into my heart from the specific Bible study He's provided for me at this particular time. It is no coincidence that these challenges have arrived at the same time as the Experiencing God class. 

I'M LEARNING, ONCE AGAIN, THAT EXPERIENCING GOD IS A PROCESS ... a chain of necessary events. It all starts with knowing Him. The more I truly KNOW Him, the more I will LOVE Him. The more I LOVE Him, the more I will BELIEVE AND TRUST Him. The more I believe and trust Him, the more I will OBEY Him. The more I obey Him, the more He will respond to my obedience by REVEALING HIMSELF to me. He takes the initiative by opening my eyes. Only when MY EYES ARE OPENED BY GOD am I enabled to actually see what He's doing around me. 

Whenever He allows me to SEE AND RECOGNIZE His activity around me- showing to me THOSE THINGS THAT ONLY GOD CAN DO - that revelation, in and of itself, is GOD HIMSELF INVITING ME TO JOIN HIM in His work, giving me clear direction! I will never be able to SEE Him working around me, though, unless HE OPENS MY EYES. 

He will open my eyes, as an expression of His love, when He sees me OBEYING Him. (Obeying Him is NOT synonymous with doing lots of stuff for Him!) I will naturally obey Him when I BELIEVE AND TRUST HIM. I will believe and trust Him when I LOVE Him. I will love Him only as I come to KNOW Him. 

IT'S ALL INTRICATELY WRAPPED UP TOGETHER.  The whole chain is only as strong as each link! And the whole thing begins with KNOWING HIM. So ... If I'm having trouble obeying Him, I am NOT to start working on obeying Him more. I must BACK UP! It's NOT an obedience problem! It's a LOVE problem. If I'm not obeying Him, I do not LOVE Him! But I mustn't stop there. The solution is not in trying to love Him more. The answer is not to focus on loving Him. That approach ends in frustration and failure. 

Back up to where it all starts! As the song goes, "Let's start at the very beginning - a very good place to start!" Focus on KNOWING HIM. Lay everything else aside. Stop ALL "work" for Him. Stop all the 'STUFF" I'm trying to do for Him. Go back to square one. GET TO KNOW HIM more! How does one get to know Him better? The same way you get to know anyone better. Spend TIME with Him. Lots of it. Spend that time focused on Him, not on self. 

AS OF TODAY, THAT IS MY APPROACH TO THE CURRENT CHALLENGES and problems.  I'm purposing to STOP grappling with what to do, what to say, what to decide, how to help, how to solve the problem, how to be the right this or the right that, how to succeed with this or with that, what to start doing different, what changes to make, etc, etc, etc, etc ... on and on. I'm purposing to lay it all down, and to simply spend time with Him, seeking to GET TO KNOW HIM on a deeper level than I've known before. 

WHEN HE SEES ME DILIGENTLY SEEKING HIM, LOOKING FOR HIM - not looking for answers, not looking for Him to DO something for me, nor for His Hand to move on my behalf ... but simply seeking to KNOW HIM - Scripture promises that He WILL be found! [Jeremiah 19:13, Deuteronomy 4:29] He is faithful! He is never a no-show Friend!  When I find HIM, spend time with Him - getting to KNOW Him in the process, the sequence, God's plan, is then set in motion. 

Knowing leads to loving. Loving leads to trusting. Trusting leads to obeying. Obedience gets His attention! And He then responds! He takes the initiative by opening my eyes - showing me what He's doing around me - revealing those God-things that are happening around me that ONLY HE can do. These things I CANNOT see, unless HE opens my eyes! When He shows me what He's doing, He's inviting me to join Him. My SEEING is my invitation to join in the work. THAT is my direction from Him! That is how He points the way for me to go. THAT is how He says, "THIS is the way; walk ye in it!" 

I SHARE THIS IN THE HOPE THAT OTHERS MAY FIND IT HELPFUL, TOO - and in the knowledge that while the circumstances of our lives may be very different, we share the same root struggles in this life. "There has no temptation taken you but such as is common to man..." 1 Cor 10:13. It's not about how many things I can DO for God, how effective I can be, how successful my efforts are for Him, etc, etc, etc. It's about how well I come to KNOW HIM. That is the key to it all. 

EACH OF US HAS STRENGTHS AND ABILITIES THAT GOD HAS PLACED into our lives.  God certainly is aware of them, and as we grow, we become aware of them, as well. Others will notice, too. But we must never forget there is another who takes notice. Satan is equally aware of those strengths and abilities. He will do everything within His power - which is certainly greater than our own power - to see that those strengths never have any true, lasting impact, lasting value.... that they never really impact the world ... the lost people all around - and that they never really impact the Kingdom of God ... edifying and building up the Body of Christ. 

IF SATAN CAN JUST KEEP US FOCUSED ON DOING STUFF, if he can keep us BUSY with stuff we want to DO for God ... he's well accomplished his goal. If he can influence us to stay focused on "What should I do? How should I do it? What's next? What should I change? What should I decide? How can I have a greater impact? What would work better? How? What? When? Etc, etc, etc." - that's all it takes. 

We're then off and running, heading around to second and third base, getting multiple pats on the back as we run, and flying toward home with our arms raised in victory, accompanied by the shouts and cheering of the crowd - never even realizing that we missed first base. All that striving and pushing - all that energy and activity and all that work - is all for naught ... counts for nothing. We missed first base, and the Umpire shouts, "He's OUT!" 

SCRIPTURE TELLS US WHAT TO DO WITH SATAN.  We're told to resist him. How? By doing more? Spending more time working for God? Do more church work? Work for greater excellence? Better sermons? Better teaching? Better presentations? Better music? Better this or better that? Practicing how to be a more effective speaker? singer? counselor? NO, NO, NO, a thousand times NO! 

That's just EXACTLY what Satan wants us to do! RESIST Satan by drawing CLOSE to God - and God will then draw close to you! What happens then are things that only God can do. As He does His work in us - convicting and drawing us to repentance and humility - we will come to know Him ... more and more (James 4:6-10).  And the sequence begins!

IF WE WANT TO BE A TRUE SERVANT OF GOD, one to whom the Almighty God chooses to show Himself, then we've got to do it HIS WAY. We must resist doing it OUR way, doing what WE determine is a great "spiritual" endeavor, "serving Him" the way WE want to serve. His way is not OUR way. He doesn't THINK like we think. His ways are not our ways! We must do it HIS WAY - which is just the opposite of ours. And it all starts at the very beginning ... KNOW HIM. To accomplish that, we must stop all our working and striving, and simply be still. And THAT is contrary to our sin nature - our pride, our self. 

'BE STILL, AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD."  Be still. Stop all that activity "for" Me, and just stay still - right here beside Me. Get to know Me. "I AM that I AM." Get to know Me as the great I AM. (The Experiencing God book has a great resource in it - a list of all that God IS. His names and titles used in Scripture. That list could be found elsewhere, too, and is a good place to start.  Here's an online list: http://www.smilegodlovesyou.org/names.html) He says He is the great I AM. Find out who He IS ... and get to know Him more - in all those different facets of His Being. 

KNOW HIM.  MORE AND MORE.  THAT MUST BE OUR FOCUS. You want to know how GOD desires to use you? Then get to KNOW HIM more. Get the sequence started. And stay alert. Be on the watch. LOOK for what He reveals. WATCH for when He opens your eyes and allows you to see the things around you that ONLY GOD COULD DO. THAT will be His direction to you. His answer. DO NOT run ahead with plans and "stuff" before you've gotten His direction. He has told us how to get that direction, but we must get it HIS WAY. 

WE ALL DESPERATELY NEED DIRECTION FROM HIM. When we study the life of Jesus, and how HE got direction from the Father, that reveals how He wants US to get His direction. Jesus is our example. And following Him, we will never be led wrong.

Blessings on your journey!

The Challenge - Speak the Truth In Love

The Challenge – Speak the truth in love! 

It sounds so simple.  But when I’m in the midst of a verbal (or even written) discussion – with someone I care deeply for, and about an issue I believe to be critical to their wellbeing, both now and for eternity – it is suddenly so very hard to figure out exactly how one accomplishes that challenge – to speak the truth in love!  

I so often come across as harsh, judgmental, unloving, etc, etc, etc – in spite of the fact that I desire strongly NOT to be so, and in truth do love the person very much, and care deeply about their life.  The fact of the matter is that if I did not love them and care deeply for them, the issue would not be something that really mattered to me.  Their acceptance or rejection of the truth would not be "a biggie" to me.  The whole problem rises to the top because I DO love them.

So … here are some truths I’ve been pondering as I’ve wrestled with this life challenge … to speak the truth – in love.

God loves all men.

John 3:16, "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

God's desire is for all men to believe in Him and be saved.

Ezekiel 33:11, "Say unto them, As I live, saith the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die, O house of Israel." 

2nd Peter 3:9, "The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance."

He loves men before they ever understand they have sinned – before they come to him for forgiveness.

Romans 5:8, "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." 

While it is clear that God does, indeed, love the sinner, at one and the same time, he is also angry with the sinner.  That is also abundantly clear.

Psalm 7:11 "God is angry with the wicked every day." 

John 3:36 warns that "the wrath of God abides" on unbelievers.

It is not a question of whether God is angry with the sinner, or that He loves the sinner.  It is not either-or; it is both-and.

There are things that God tells us He hates.

Proverbs 6:16-19 is one place where God lists specific things that He hates:

These six things does the LORD hate: yes, seven are an abomination unto Him:  A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked imaginations, feet that are swift in running to mischief, a false witness that speaks lies, and he that sows discord among brethren.

In the context of our responsibility as Christian men and women, we often hear, “Hate the sin, but love the sinner.”

This is not a Bible quote (rather, from Mahatma Gandhi), but the Bible does, indeed, teach us to hate sin:

Proverbs 8:13 ESV

The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil.  Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate.

Psalm 101:3 ESV

I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless. I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me.

Psalm 97:10 ESV

O you who love the Lord, hate evil!

That same Word of God, the Bible, also teaches us to love others:

John 13:34 ESV

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.

1 John 4:19-21 ESV

We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.

Philippians 2:3-4 ESV

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

It is, therefore, crucial that we have a clear understanding of what God means when He uses the word “love.”

Before looking at that word “love,” here is another important Scripture to ponder, especially when dealing with our relationships with others, as we attempt to speak the truth:

“Think not that I came to send peace on the earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law” Matthew 10:34-35

The claims of Scripture - and a person’s acceptance or rejection of them - will most assuredly divide!  Yet … we are called to “love.”

So, what does God mean when He says “love?”  This is so important to the almighty God of the universe that He addressed it at length.  The best passage in Scripture for grasping God’s opinion about love can be found in 1 Corinthians 13.  The entire chapter is on the subject of love, but verses 4-6 give a detailed description of what God means when He uses the word.

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.”

Those verses tell us how we are to think about the sinner, what our attitude should be as we speak to him, interact with him, etc.  And as we think, so will we act.  (Prov 23:7)  But it does not mean we should refrain from confronting him with the truth.  In fact, we are commanded to “speak the truth,” but to do it in patience and kindness, without being arrogant or rude.

Walking in and Speaking Truth

Psalm 15:1-2  O Lord, who shall sojourn in your tent? Who shall dwell on your holy hill? He who walks blamelessly and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart;

Zechariah 8:16 These are the things that you shall do: Speak the truth to one another; render in your gates judgments that are true and make for peace;

Ephesians 4:25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

1 John 3:18  Little children, let us not love in word or talk, but in deed and in truth.

As we speak the truth, we must remember that whenever the truth of Scripture is rejected, it is not us being rejected, but God Himself.  

When we remember this (1 Samuel 8:7), it helps us to obey the instruction to not be irritable or resentful when dialoguing with an unbeliever.  The minute we take their rejection personally, we’re in trouble – and it becomes almost impossible to keep our tone, words, and facial expressions from being negatively affected by their often caustic words. 

Here is one of the best discussions of “Hate the sin; love the sinner” that I’ve seen; it came from gotQuestions?org, a great site to explore God's Word on many topics.

“Many Christians use the cliché “Love the sinner, hate the sin.” However, we must realize that this is an exhortation to us as imperfect human beings. The difference between us and God in regard to loving and hating is vast. Even as Christians, we remain imperfect in our humanity and cannot love perfectly, nor can we hate perfectly (in other words, without malice). But God can do both of these perfectly, because He is God. God can hate without any sinful intent. Therefore, He can hate the sin and the sinner in a perfectly holy way and still be willing to lovingly forgive at the moment of that sinner's repentance and faith (Malachi 1:3; Revelation 2:6; 2 Peter 3:9).

“The Bible clearly teaches that God is love. First John 4:8-9 says, “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.” Mysterious but true is the fact that God can perfectly love and hate a person at the same time. This means He can love him as someone He created and can redeem, as well as hate him for his unbelief and sinful lifestyle. We, as imperfect human beings, cannot do this; thus, we must remind ourselves to “love the sinner, hate the sin.”

“How exactly does that work? We hate sin by refusing to take part in it and by condemning it when we see it. Sin is to be hated, not excused or taken lightly. We love sinners by being faithful in witnessing to them of the forgiveness that is available through Jesus Christ. A true act of love is treating someone with respect and kindness even though he/she knows you do not approve of his lifestyle and/or choices. It is not loving to allow a person to remain stuck in sin. It is not hateful to tell a person he/she is in sin. In fact, the exact opposites are true. We love the sinner by speaking the truth in love. We hate the sin by refusing to condone, ignore, or excuse it.”

More on speaking the truth:

“1 Peter 3:15, “But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect...” There is no excuse for a Christian to be completely unable to defend his or her faith. Every Christian should be able to give a reasonable presentation of his or her faith in Christ.  No, not every Christian needs to be an expert in apologetics. Every Christian, though, should know what he believes, why he believes it, how to share it with others, and how to defend it against lies and attacks.

“A second aspect of Christian apologetics that is often ignored is the second half of 1 Peter 3:15, “but do this with gentleness and respect...” Defending the Christian faith with apologetics should never involve being rude, angry, or disrespectful. While practicing Christian apologetics, we should strive to be strong in our defense and at the same time Christ-like in our presentation. If we win a debate but turn a person even further away from Christ by our attitude, we have lost the true purpose of Christian apologetics.

“Christian apologetics is simply presenting a reasonable defense of the Christian faith and truth to those who disagree. Christian apologetics is a necessary aspect of the Christian life. We are all commanded to be ready and equipped to proclaim the gospel and defend our faith (Matthew 28:18-20; 1 Peter 3:15). That is the essence of Christian apologetics.”

Is there a time to refrain from sharing truth?

Most assuredly.  Again, this is from gotquestions.org:

"Do not cast your pearls before swine" is a portion of the Sermon on the Mount, and to understand its meaning, we have to understand its context and placement within the sermon. Christ had just finished instructing the crowd on judgment and reproof: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you” (Matthew 7:1-2), and “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye” (Matthew 7:5). Then in verse 6, Christ tempers these admonitions and shows us the difference between “judgment” and “discernment.”

“The analogy of the dogs actually comes from Proverbs: “As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly” (Proverbs 26:11). Swine are also described in this way, as illustrated by Peter: “Of them [false prophets and teachers] the proverbs are true: ‘A dog returns to its vomit,’ and, ‘A sow that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud’” (2 Peter 2:22). The dogs and swine here are representative of those who would ridicule, reject, and blaspheme the gospel once it has been given to them. We are not to put forth the gospel of Jesus Christ in the direction of someone who has no other purpose than to trample it and return to his own evil ways. We identify such people through discernment, which is given in some measure to all Christians (1 Corinthians 2:15-16).

“This does not mean we refrain from preaching the gospel. Jesus Himself ate with and taught sinners and tax collectors (Matthew 9:10). In essence, the instruction in Matthew 7:6 is the same that Jesus gave to His apostles when He said, “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town” (Matthew 10:14). We are not to judge others, for we are guilty of the same things they are. Reserving judgment, however, does not prevent us from discerning those who would accept, or at least respect, the gospel from those who would ridicule, mock, and trample it, and then turn on us and abuse us. Balancing judgment with discernment is the wisdom of serpents Jesus refers to in Matthew 10:16.”

In conclusion, it is, indeed, a challenge – learning to speak the truth in love - one I've not yet mastered.  However, studying it once again was helpful to me; I hope it will be to someone else, as well.

God bless you, fellow pilgrim, on your journey this day!